Different World

I feel like, the distance between us become further apart, even though we still sit together sometimes. I dont know whether you care about me or not, I dont want to know. But, what I know is, you only mix with the friends that are as talkative, cute, hyperactive, outgoing as you. You only together with me just because im your secondary school friend, thats what I feel.

Im trying to make myself to 'exist' in this world, but, in the end, I feel suffer and pressure. Whenever im with you, you just like having fun with your friends in another world only, even though im trying myself to involve. I feel really really pressure with you, you give me no happiness, but sadness. You with me just you want to 'ying chou' me, thats what you do always.

Now, I know that, we really really born from different world. You are talkative always, im a quiet person in sometimes. You guys will think that a talkative person plus with a quiet person will become balance. Sorry guys, you are wrong.

Damn Pissed

I damn pissed off now !!! I waited her for so long, then at the end say, 'no'. What the... I just hate it, the life im having now, been ignored, been left out and so on.

Just now when I woke up, I felt damn hungry. So, I smsed the friend im use to have dinner with. After few minutes, she didnt reply me. For sure, she was sleeping. Then, I called her. She didnt pick up. But she reply my message, told me that she was sleeping. Okay, fine. I thought after my call, she will ready herself and have dinner together. Who knows, she said she had her dinner. What the ? Why dont she just tell me at the beginning ? I sent her almost 3-4 messages, then she just told me that.

'Its actually not dinner. 5 plus we makan. I'll consider it dinner now because I want to sleep now. Dont want go eat... Sorry ya', thats what she told me. If you really think about someone, you will wake up and tell that person, then continue your sleep. It is that hard ?

Or maybe you guys think Im 'xiao qi' or what, I dont know. I just hate it when people treat me like this, like dont care about me whether Im in heaven or hell.

Will I be Okay ?

It is already July... But things didnt change, it still remains the same as usual. I keep on forgetting about it but still... I just dont understand why the real world is so damn cruel.

Whenever I see her, it reminds me the problem im facing. Im trying to forget but I see her everyday. T_T So, how long should I take this time for me to fully recover ? I dont know... It just like, my moody will back when I see her. Dang... Im 60% okay, another 40% still in sadness...

Grr... I hate this part of myself, easily get hurt by this little tiny problem !!! *yawn* tired been hurt by this. Should I say 'I will be better soon' ? I dont know... Let time to cure this...

Remain the Same

Am I such a boring person ? Yes, im. But is it a must for a person to be talkative, active, cute and hyperactive ? So that, he or she can be friend with ?

I thought, in college, it will change, will not occur again. Unfortunately, in the end, it appears again. Everything remain the same.I treated you guys as my friends, but in return, you guys just ignored me after using me. I didnt say that you guys must buy something for me as what friendship stuff, whatever it is, i just need you guys not to ignore people. Yes, i know im not as popular, as talkative, as active and as cute as some of my friends, at least let me know, im still exist in this world. But you guys really like to hurt people's feeling.

Even though im sitting beside with the so called 'popular friend', they only just play, invite and chat with her. They totally make me as a ghost, keep chatting and playing with her. Yes, i know im not active as that girl, but you guys make it so obvious that dont want me to join you guys. Is that so important for you guys, until you guys forget about my exist ?

You guys really made me so pissed off, angry and sad. I admit that i dont like to talk, DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK and dont look pretty, but you guys too obvious that, try to ignore me. If I got the power, I hope I can make myself disappear in this world. You guys are more cruel than me, I just cant stand with you guys anymore.

Im trying to cool myself, but you guys keep hurting me like it has been your habit. What the... When you guys need me, I will b there sometimes; when you guys dont need my help anymore, you guys just throw me away as like Im the object here. Is it that fun to be hurt people, to make people cry ? Sorry,I dont cry for you guys, dont ever dream about it.

I will be strong some day. Even though i said it so many times, I still cant be as strong as what I hope to be. But what I need for now is, time to cure my feeling. I will change some day. Everyone has his or her limit, so do I.

Disappointment

I just finished my test 1 few days ago. And I received my english test paper, I cant believe, I totally shocked !!! O.O I cant believe that my mark would be so low... not even half of the full mark !!! Sigh...

I like english but just dont know why my grammar not so good. Once I got my english test paper, and once I looked at the mark, I, immediately broke down. I wanted to cry out but I refused to do that, because I know, even though I cried, it will not change the fact. So, I accepted the fact and remained silent.

Since I cant change the fact, Im trying hard to make it better next time. But, can I really do it ? Hmm...

Second Life Style

It's been a while I post something here. I don't know what to write this past few months ^^"

Time passes very fast, it's already April. And it's been three weeks I studied in college. I think I kinda used to it already. There got lots of handsome guys, wow !! Lucky me, but they all have girlfriends. Nah... it's still have chance for me to search for a better guy. *laugh*

I met lots of new friends, they all came from different states. And I met my primary school friends too, but I cant recognize them because they changed a lot. =_= For the first week in college, I got my very first assignment to do, so fast... =_=

The style of the lecturers teach us is totally different from high school teachers. High school teachers are like keep ordering us to do this and that, but the lecturers are different, you can play with them, or chit chat with them, they are like our own friends. =)

New Year Speech

Is year 2010 !!!! HaPPy nEW YeaR !!!

We walked into year 2010, we just stepped out of year 2009. So, is time for us to say goodbye to year 2009, we should say welcome and hello to year 2010. It is just like we started a new life in this year.

It is good for us to bring along the sweet, happy and fortunate memories from year 2009 to year 2010. It is also good for us to throw away the bad, unhappy and unfortunate memories from now on. Like this, we can start a new life style from now on. ^^

I just drop by here to wish all you guys, HaPPy nEW yEaR !!! Wish you have a fortunate year this year.

^^