Damn Pissed

I damn pissed off now !!! I waited her for so long, then at the end say, 'no'. What the... I just hate it, the life im having now, been ignored, been left out and so on.

Just now when I woke up, I felt damn hungry. So, I smsed the friend im use to have dinner with. After few minutes, she didnt reply me. For sure, she was sleeping. Then, I called her. She didnt pick up. But she reply my message, told me that she was sleeping. Okay, fine. I thought after my call, she will ready herself and have dinner together. Who knows, she said she had her dinner. What the ? Why dont she just tell me at the beginning ? I sent her almost 3-4 messages, then she just told me that.

'Its actually not dinner. 5 plus we makan. I'll consider it dinner now because I want to sleep now. Dont want go eat... Sorry ya', thats what she told me. If you really think about someone, you will wake up and tell that person, then continue your sleep. It is that hard ?

Or maybe you guys think Im 'xiao qi' or what, I dont know. I just hate it when people treat me like this, like dont care about me whether Im in heaven or hell.

Will I be Okay ?

It is already July... But things didnt change, it still remains the same as usual. I keep on forgetting about it but still... I just dont understand why the real world is so damn cruel.

Whenever I see her, it reminds me the problem im facing. Im trying to forget but I see her everyday. T_T So, how long should I take this time for me to fully recover ? I dont know... It just like, my moody will back when I see her. Dang... Im 60% okay, another 40% still in sadness...

Grr... I hate this part of myself, easily get hurt by this little tiny problem !!! *yawn* tired been hurt by this. Should I say 'I will be better soon' ? I dont know... Let time to cure this...

Remain the Same

Am I such a boring person ? Yes, im. But is it a must for a person to be talkative, active, cute and hyperactive ? So that, he or she can be friend with ?

I thought, in college, it will change, will not occur again. Unfortunately, in the end, it appears again. Everything remain the same.I treated you guys as my friends, but in return, you guys just ignored me after using me. I didnt say that you guys must buy something for me as what friendship stuff, whatever it is, i just need you guys not to ignore people. Yes, i know im not as popular, as talkative, as active and as cute as some of my friends, at least let me know, im still exist in this world. But you guys really like to hurt people's feeling.

Even though im sitting beside with the so called 'popular friend', they only just play, invite and chat with her. They totally make me as a ghost, keep chatting and playing with her. Yes, i know im not active as that girl, but you guys make it so obvious that dont want me to join you guys. Is that so important for you guys, until you guys forget about my exist ?

You guys really made me so pissed off, angry and sad. I admit that i dont like to talk, DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK and dont look pretty, but you guys too obvious that, try to ignore me. If I got the power, I hope I can make myself disappear in this world. You guys are more cruel than me, I just cant stand with you guys anymore.

Im trying to cool myself, but you guys keep hurting me like it has been your habit. What the... When you guys need me, I will b there sometimes; when you guys dont need my help anymore, you guys just throw me away as like Im the object here. Is it that fun to be hurt people, to make people cry ? Sorry,I dont cry for you guys, dont ever dream about it.

I will be strong some day. Even though i said it so many times, I still cant be as strong as what I hope to be. But what I need for now is, time to cure my feeling. I will change some day. Everyone has his or her limit, so do I.

Disappointment

I just finished my test 1 few days ago. And I received my english test paper, I cant believe, I totally shocked !!! O.O I cant believe that my mark would be so low... not even half of the full mark !!! Sigh...

I like english but just dont know why my grammar not so good. Once I got my english test paper, and once I looked at the mark, I, immediately broke down. I wanted to cry out but I refused to do that, because I know, even though I cried, it will not change the fact. So, I accepted the fact and remained silent.

Since I cant change the fact, Im trying hard to make it better next time. But, can I really do it ? Hmm...

Second Life Style

It's been a while I post something here. I don't know what to write this past few months ^^"

Time passes very fast, it's already April. And it's been three weeks I studied in college. I think I kinda used to it already. There got lots of handsome guys, wow !! Lucky me, but they all have girlfriends. Nah... it's still have chance for me to search for a better guy. *laugh*

I met lots of new friends, they all came from different states. And I met my primary school friends too, but I cant recognize them because they changed a lot. =_= For the first week in college, I got my very first assignment to do, so fast... =_=

The style of the lecturers teach us is totally different from high school teachers. High school teachers are like keep ordering us to do this and that, but the lecturers are different, you can play with them, or chit chat with them, they are like our own friends. =)

New Year Speech

Is year 2010 !!!! HaPPy nEW YeaR !!!

We walked into year 2010, we just stepped out of year 2009. So, is time for us to say goodbye to year 2009, we should say welcome and hello to year 2010. It is just like we started a new life in this year.

It is good for us to bring along the sweet, happy and fortunate memories from year 2009 to year 2010. It is also good for us to throw away the bad, unhappy and unfortunate memories from now on. Like this, we can start a new life style from now on. ^^

I just drop by here to wish all you guys, HaPPy nEW yEaR !!! Wish you have a fortunate year this year.

^^

'The End' of Secondary School Life

It's been a while... I did not write anything here for around 1 month, I think. I just finished my big exam, that is SPM, Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia. This means, I finally free from studies... for few months. ^^'

When I was still in this school, I hate it, I hoped I can leave this school faster. Now, I kinda miss this school because got lots of sweet and bad memories happened at there. Of course, sweet memories will always stay in my mind, bad memories, I will just kick them away.

I also miss my teachers. Especially, my last year BM teacher, Miss Lan. Even though sometimes she looks kinda fierce, but actually she is a kind and cute teacher. And I miss the time during teachers were teaching. Most of us did not listen to teachers, we just did our own stuff, example, chatting, playing, did other homework, sleeping and so on.

I still remember, I was a prefect when I was form 1 and form 2. Those time became a prefect, is a good decision. Because my school got 2 session, morning session and afternoon session. Form 1 and form 2 are afternoon session. That means that day I was a big sister during form 2. haha...

Of course, I also miss my secondary school life. Even though secondary school life was kinda troublesome, but actually I like it. Just do not ask me why, I, myself always do not know why, weird right ? ^^"

Now, I can do whatever I want for few months... I can be a bad girl, can keep playing computer games, can shopping with friends, can learn japanese and so on. haha...