Confused

Im very confuse now. I dont know, really dont know why I will be like this. Im the one who chose to step out of the group first because I felt pressure, hurt and unhappy. Even though like this, we still got chat with each other, but not the usual way anymore.

I thought I already can let it go, but I just realized that Im not. How come ? I was okay when I saw her chat, play, 'crazy' happily with her new friends, but why now ? I thought I already can forget the pass, and to move forward. But looks like I was wrong, Im still care about her, and not only her, as well as others. I just dont know why, they keep avoiding me or ignoring me except some of them.

Human being is so damn cruel sometimes. Once they get a new friend, they will forget about their previous friends. Im not showing off or what, but Im telling the truth that, I will not do that. Even thought I knew some new friends, Im still care about my previous friends. Maybe because of this, they make fun with my feelings or using me as a tool.

I feel Im all alone in the class, no one to chat, no one to ask, all alone. I dont mean that everyone must treat me like a princess or what, just normal way. But you guys just trying to avoid me, I can feel that. Its too obvious, damn obvious.

Or maybe should I say Im too serious towards the friendship ? I think part of the answer is yes, because Im a person like that, too kind or something towards friends sometimes until they all use or play with my kindness. At the end, Im the one who get hurt and suffer. Is there any wrong for me to be too kind towards friends or too serious in friendship ?

Now, I feel scare to mix with any friends now. I know I say this, you guys will think Im childish or what, but I just dont want to experience the pain that I was and am suffering. Its really hurt, damn hurt until it can make someone to commit suicide even though its just for friendship problem.