Dreams ( Nightmares ) ?

Hmmm.... I got two dreams ( or nightmares ? ). I never dreamt this kind of dreams ( nightmares ) before. It was quite weird for me to dream that. Until now, I also cant believe that. O.O

First, I dreamt that one of my closest friends got a boyfriend. From that day onwards, she started to ignore me. But sometimes, she still searches for me, chats with me, hang out together still. However, when comes to her boyfriend, she will just ignore me. T.T I still remember, got one scene is that, we were in a restaurant, having meal together, just the three of us. Obviously, she kept on chatting with her boyfriend, I was sitting there, looking at them chatting lovely-dovey... T.T

Second dream is almost the same, but a little bit different. What I can remember is that, I cant trust her anymore, I lose trust on her. I kept on telling her my stuff, then she went to spread to others. I was shock when I learnt this and cried for few days. And I felt weird, why im the one who keep on telling her, but she didnt tell me her stuff ? What makes me laugh is the ending of this dream is we met each other in court ! What ?! Court ?! haha...

Its funny huh... But I seriously hope that, that will not happen to me. If yes, I think I cant handle it and cant accept the facts... I think I will be in somewhere else ? haha... Who knows...

The 'Treatment' From Them

Ah... I'm exhausted... Everyday, I have to watch those kind of 'dramas' which I dont like to watch. I'm seriously exhausted. I want to remove them from my friend list, but it seems I cant do it, because I'm still take them as my friends. However, not as close as last time anymore, because I found out their true intentions and I feel disappointed with their attitudes. We used to hang to have a drink at night, hanging out together, watched movie, singing and so on. Now, there is a gap between me and them, they created it, not me.

There is a so called 'friend' of mine, named C (This is another C, not the previous one). She used to ask me to accompany her to do this and that. Since she WAS my friend, so I helped her, accompanied her and so on. After our Form 5 graduation, we still hanged out together to have a drink and so on, as I said above.

However, recently, I found out that, there are lot of secrets I dont know. And even she wanted to have a gathering, I was not included. There are many gatherings that I dont know, totally zero. She purposely did that, because I'm not her friend anymore ? Like one day, I went to HER BEST FRIEND's room. They was chatting with each other through MSN messenger. I didnt mean to look at their conversation, I accidentally read their conversation, only few sentences.

(It is not exactly the same with their conversation, but this is what the meaning is...)

C : wanna come out to have a gathering ?

C2 : okay, no problem... oh yeah, want to call XXX (Thats me) or not ?

C : better dont la, because I want to talk about him...

It happened twice, not once. Even though C didnt want me to join, C2 insisted me to go. But at the end, I didnt go, and dont ask me why. That time, I was like O.O plus hurt... Am I not your friend anymore ? Am I not reliable ? Do I look like a person who will simply go and spread out the secrets ? Is that love more important that friends ? Am I a tool for you to release your lonelyness ? Some more, C2 brought her another BEST FRIEND to the gathering. It is so damn childish should I say ? Or what ?

Some more, they only so called CARE about their another friend, R. Just like last Saturday, they went to KL without inviting me. Yes, C2 TOLD me about that, but didnt INVITE me to go. So, I was joking and asked her, "Why didnt ask me de ?" Guess whats her reply ? She replied with "You want to come also can, but you are the fifth one, have to find another partner." (Because they went there by bus) What the.... ? Is this the way for you to INVITE your friend ? Just because I'm the fifth, I cant join you guys ? Who proof this can be an excuse ? I felt funny and I seriously laughed at them, plus a little hurt.

And now, C is planning to have another gathering again, without me. She asked them through facebook, only three of them. C posted at C2's wall said by tagging R that "R, v go watch movie lo.. long time no c u adi.. miss u le.. come out la.. hey C2 i feel lik wanna go sing k.. wanna go ?" Oh, okay... I'm an invisible person to you guys... This time the gathering, without me again, very good... This is how they treat their friend after using their friend.

I didnt mean to say this out, but they seriously hurt me enough, not once, but many times, uncountable. So, I release my tension that got from them here. >.<> I guess once you guys read this, you guys will hate me even more or talk bad about me even more...